Love you mom...

Today, I am so happy... I've got a surprise from my mom.... very touching... Love ya mom... =)

wake up..

"I will never be the same again
I can never return
I've closed the door
I will walk the path
I'll run the race
I will never be the same again"

As I was preparing this song for worship practice tonight, it does not ring any bell in me... however, God works in every way. I was thinking through this song the whole night.. this song kept ringing in my head and I meditate on this song actually. I have been "disobedient" towards a lot of things lately.. causing me unnecessary hurts and sadness. I put all the blames towards other people rather than looking and reflecting towards my own attitude. I admit I hurt people around me and in return, people around me do hurt me.. However, when this song rings, I find that I should never be the same again... be it towards other people or towards myself...

Once, I always think people do not care or concern about me. Once, I feel people around me do not treat me like their friends. Once, I always make false assumptions towards how people view me... However, looking back... these are all "immature"... I felt so immature having such thinking.. consequences are that, I always feel hurt and sad with no reason... God actually 'wake me up".. it is actually something very small .. my problem is not even as high as the mountain or as deep as the sea... it's not the end of my day...

I want to change! Something which I cannot do it on my own but with my God, I am able to do it! Lord, please help... =)

process... I think...

I am doing my final dissertation for my degree and I think this is a process where each moment I hand in my work, there must be correction and addition needed to be done. Aiyo... I miscalculated how many times I've made correction and surely there must be something need to correct, something need to change, something need to add, something need to elaborate and the like.... aiyo.. more days to 'endure'....

good time with....

I had good time,

with all my cell group members to Tuaran for Holy Spirit Weekend Away..

I had good time,

with a few sisters laughing non-stop in the room in Tuaran...

I had good time,

with my cell group sisters 'playing' two hanging bridges under the hot sun...

I had good time,

with my P&W gangs rehearsing for Church service...

I had good time,

with all my crazy & fun youths for their never-ending energy & strength to keep me awake...

I had good time,

with my fellow church members coming to worship to Lord on Sunday...

I had good time,

with my cell group sisters washing dishes after the refreshment and we are being labeled as the next 'women fellowship' + I was in my formal suit with high heels to wash all the dishes...

I had good time,

with my cell group sisters + youths having lunch together...

I had good time,

with all SYOK children as we sing + dance like mad...

I had good time,

with the Diocese brothers & sisters in Christ witnessing 7 candidates' ordination...

I had good time,

with myself by keep replying smile to someone...

I had good time,

with a group of brothers & sisters at Starbucks for a celebration...

I had good time.....

Decision....

I am at the moment having my sweet time in McD KKIA... huh? did I say KKIA?? hahaa... yes, I am at KKIA.. two things being here.. sending my cell leader to Tawau and fetching my brother from Bintulu. My cell leader just checked in and now, I need to to wait for my brother to come out.

Yesterday was my final presentation of my dissertation. Once again, I thanked God that everything went on very smoothly.. I was the fourth one to present reason being that my pendrive could not read by my lecturer's laptop, so I went and borrow one of my classmate's laptop to check the problem and finally I managed to solve the problem and get my presentation done. I was actually stressed and nervous about it because I fear that I couldn't answer the questions that my lecturer point out as all the previous presenters were being questioned without answers coming out from them ( reason: don't know how to answer)... however, after I did my presentation, all he commented was "Excellent, this is what I want!" I was so relief because he has nothing to question me but to ask me how long have I prepared my work... hahhaha.... Oh well, now, we have one more week (grace period) given by my lecturer to complete and hand in our thesis... which, I almost done.. =)

Thinking back, the three years that I have studied my degree course has cost me to give up quite a lot of things, but at the same time gain a lot of things as well.. Even though the hectic schedules, examinations, presentations are always present, I prayed to God that I will never forsake my ministries.. I want to serve HIM while I still can.. and truly enough, I do excel in my studies and I really am glad that God is always there for me... there are so many things that I will not be able to achieve without the Lord by my side.

There are so many things happened around me which has stirred my heart a bit... one of my dear sister encourage me that it's time to make decision...

Mission Experience- Penangah

This is my first time ever to join the Medical Camp organized by the Diocese. I am very much excited for this trip even though I know that my physical body does no permit. Nevertheless, I decided to go and experience this camp.

I am not from any medical line... does not know any single medical knowledge, well, perhaps those very general ones I do understand, but those are the surface ones, no more than that... What makes me so excited to go? Firstly, it is because I finally have the time to free up some of the space in my schedules and go for this camp by faith. In fact, I turned down many appointments because I have made this camp a priority.

This camp is a 'challenge' to me in every single area. My physical body does not permits me to go for long journeys because I have history of back pain and very serious motion sickness. However, I prayed and I just go by faith..

During my trip there, I faced car breakdown before even reaching Telupid, I had to search transport to go to Penangah the next day, and I have to look for transport back to KK.. Three days, three different cars.. can't imagine my first experience is the issue of transport.

The medical camp in Penangah is really an eye-opener to me. I helped as a volunteer between helping the patience to the nurse then to the doctors. We had to drive on stony and bumpy roads for almost 2 hours and frankly speaking, with my condition, I really feel the pain.. But, when I arrived in the deep place called Penangah, I tell you, the pain that I suffered and faced can never be compared to the people there who are not able to even get excess into medical treatment. The people there were being blessed by the medical team and everyone do not want to miss this opportunity to get treatment and to get advice. I can see how blessed I am living in this comfort zone where medical treatment is just around my corner. I really feel for the people in Penangah...

Throughout this camp, the most painful part is the 'journey'... we had long journey from one place to another... and by the time I got home, I am so glad to be home.

For the past 2 years, ever since the Medical camp started 2 years ago, my cell leader has been consistently encouraging me to go... however, I always turned her down and giving excuses... For the past 2 years, she never failed to encourage me to join and sign up for this medical camp until this year, the 3rd year, I finally sign up and I can tell you, it is worth going!

Mission... I never really take it seriously because I always think that I am not fit for mission... however, after this medical camp, my perspective changed!

help me? or me help? hehe...

My room is so cold that I actually have to put on not only my stockings but also cover myself with my thick blanket. I turn on my air-cond to the maximum so that I can feel the chill inside my room... hehhee.....

Today is my youngest brother's 19th birthday and we went out to celebrate his birthday at Pizza Hut just outside our area. The gathering was superb!

For the past few nights, I have been sleeping on the floor because of my back pain. I normally does this when my back aches.. I feel better than sleeping on the bed..

I will be heading to a medical camp for the weekend. I am still thinking what to pack... oh well... I should say that I am still checking my stuffs... hoping that I won't miss this and that... but, definitely, my MEDICINE is a MUST!!!!

I have been reminded to bring my medicine and YES I will remember that! IMPORTANT!!!!